We only have control over whether we approach them or not.Reconnection takes advantage of this subconscious process.If you feel you must date, be as discreet as possible, preferably not allowing anyone to know you are dating.Wait until a reasonable time after the divorce is over before introducing your friend to your children.This is because the way we say things trigger attraction or repulsion at the subconscious level.We have no control over who we become attracted to.
Just the thought of that is repulsive and no amount of sweet talk or reasoning is going to overcome that gut reaction.
The apology is too late, the reasoning does not fit the facts, and the message that really comes across is, “Come back to me because I need you,” which is a really selfish and needy message.
No one who feels like they have been a victim of a bad marriage is going to want to return just because their spouse needs them or claims to have changed.
They attempt to apologize for having made mistakes and then to try to convince their spouse that his or her leaving was a mistake.
It is a mixed message–“Yes, I made many mistakes, but you should come back to me because I have changed now.” Such messages result in loss of respect rather than attraction, for a few reasons.