, like, “a guy told me he was looking for a girlfriend by next year so he’d have someone to split rent with.” Then there was the charmer who told his date about the time he “got wasted, peed and mopped it up with his clothes, and then wore them.” Um, yeah., we’d like to assume you know better than to make mistakes like these.
Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?
DO make the conversation reciprocal, be inquisitive and show your interest in getting to know the other person. DON'T alter who you are to fit what you think your love interest wants/needs.
When we alter who we are and portray values that are not our own, we attract people we were never meant to attract, therefore the relationship is doomed before it begins. It is much easier than putting forth the energy required to pretend. DON'T complain about your lack of luck with love or blame your city's [insert city name here] dating scene!
Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date.
’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.
Looking for a tip or two on how to tackle the dating scene? Yes, we live in a modern world in which women can pay for themselves and open their own door. DON'T be overly influenced by expectations of family and friends such as, “Does she practice the same religion?
Then you've probably noticed the onslaught of search engine results when you Google the phrase "dating dos and don'ts." Yikes! DON'T convince yourself you only have one "type." DO widen your definition of a compatible mate. Still, it's nice when the man foots the bill after a dinner date. Is he the same race, or does he have the desired financial/educational status?
Here, the advice IS coming from actual experts and in this case, six bona fide therapists! Ditch the long laundry list written by everyone else, but you! When getting to know someone in a new relationship, they want to know who you are today not how you were in a past relationship or lifetime.
DO talk about yourself as who you are today in the present and the values and goals you have for yourself in the future. DON'T monopolize the conversation or make yourself the highlight real, no one healthy or worthwhile being in a relationship with is interested in getting into a coupleship with a narcissist.
DO practice balancing "you" time with "couple" time from the very beginning of the relationship.